Now that I am rendered virtually immobile and very slow by my ever-increasing and annoyingly active girth, I am having dreams about exercise. My dreams for the last three nights have featured in their own little mini-movies: yoga, skiing and running. In each movie, I’m doing each activity, then find I have to pee really bad and can’t get out of the activity fast enough to ski to a lodge bathroom, to walk out of yoga class to the locker-room, to run to the nearest port-a-potty…and then I wake up and have to pee for real. It takes a real heave-ho to launch myself out of bed because my abdominal muscles are all loosey-goosey and no longer bound by a linea alba.

Last night on call, I was “rushing” to catch an elevator and three surgical-looking residents managed to hop onto the elevator, and the doors closed just as I was approaching them. I was really jealous because they actually weren’t walking all that fast. Even the patient wheeling around her own IV pole managed to walk past me and get on that elevator.

I’m also jealous of the Title Nine Sports non-model catalog models. There was a Title Nine Sports catalog in the mail today, which I seem to now receive after buying one pair of stretchy yoga pants that since pregnancy have been my go-to pants for non-work use (”Everyone fits into yoga pants,” Joe pointed out) and there are all these healthy non-model looking women who are modeling their clothes. The caption reads: “Katie keeps busy during ‘business hours’ as an architect, but spends her ‘off-hours’ cycling, running, surfing, canoeing, or sushi making!” and lo, there’s a picture of Katie sporting a stretchy athletic top and making sushi. I want to be cycling, running, surfing and canoeing! I also want to be an architect! And eat that sushi she’s making (sushi - another thing I miss). The sporty top she’s wearing is only so-so.

Ideally, though, this pregnancy is going to last another several months because I need to have this kid marinate for longer. Which means no sushi or cycling. And letting everyone get onto the elevator before me.